Tweets from "Dating Advice", recommended by friend

ETA: The young lady who recommended this post requested I remove her name. I have removed her name from the post title and her surname entirely. 

Video here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfyJMSeYUN0
I continued to watch all of the following videos.





Nicole recommended this videos. I watched them, because while I have major disagreements with them, I want to understand where she is coming from better. Also, I was bored.

Now, I am going to preface by saying, I do not find anything wrong with the model of dating courting proposed in this video. If you, your parents, and the guy involved wanna do this, go for it! I am glad you have that ability.

Me, I tried both. I haven't had a great amount of luck with dating or courting. Both ended with me getting burned, and I've still got scars. I currently wear a wedding ring, because I'm sick of dealing with boys. I'm not a nun; I'm just taking a breather from singledom. But I don't ahve a huge problem with either model.
What I have a problem with is namecalling. And blanket statements. And guilt tripping. There's a difference between allowable by scripture and commanded/forbidden by scripture.

For instance: Drinking a glass of wine with dinner. Not forbidden, or commanded.
Getting drunk: Forbidden

You can follow the line of thinking "no drunkeness => no drinking, period", and that's allowable. But you can also follow the line of thinking "Jesus' first miracle was water into wine => cautious, responsible drinking is okay."
Neither is wrong. And either party calling the other "unbiblical/unchristian" is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard in my life. It makes me physically sick to my stomach to hear/see these arguments. Those who don't drink any alcohol calling the others fools, seeking to be right at the edge between sin and saved--that's disgusting. Those who drink responsibly calling the other people prudes and uptight twits--that's disgusting.

Also, the word for wine used in the NT? I'm told it's the same word in Greek--no matter when it's "strong wine", "fruit of the vine", whatever. The people trying to put it all in categories are working from the wrong (English) Bible. Anyways.

When the courtship people call the dating people sluts and the dating people call the courting people prudes--that is also disgusting. And unfortunately, in the course of this video, this teachers takes several opportunities (in the middle of dispensing such great, biblically-approved advice!) to name call the people who date, who are friends with members of the opposite gender, who define themselves as "teenagers", and many, many more. And that I am not okay with. To the point of being pro-actively against anyone who starts bible thumping and telling people they are not saved. PRO-ACTIVELY YOU KNOW THIS MEANS WAR.

The following tweets are mostly snark. If you know me, you know I poke fun at EVERYTHING. I snark through my favourite movies. So... understand that. I have also included other tweets from other people. If you didn't want to be included, let me know and I will remove your tweets.

Hopefully this post will get fleshed out a little better soonish. I need to find some verses addresses (NOT "verses that agree with me"; "the exact address of the verse I'm thinking of". BIG difference. :)

Somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
@slrvcarm I'm about to start watching. :)

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
...Demonic dating. Yep. Matchmaking your devils and witches here.

He opens with, "Let us enter the world of demonic, sensual dating." ...


somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Currently watching "Dating Advice". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfyJMSeYUN0

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Dating for the fun of it. Yep. I do that all the time.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Psychologists are witch doctors!

^ our first [tweeted] incident of name-calling, ladies and gentlemen! Psychologists are witch doctors. Does this include the Christian ones? I don't know. He doesn't say. But he says psychologists are witch doctors. WTF


OhOkayAlex Alexander Grey
Some of the most annoying tweets are the ones where people joke about killing some commonly hated celebrity. Really? (Continued!)



OhOkayAlex Alexander Grey
To start off with, you don't even have a good reason to "genuinely" hate that person. You can hate their music, but you don't know them.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
@OhOkayAlex Well, I am listening to a dating video and I hate this person. I genuinely hate him. And I want to go to his house and stab him.

OhOkayAlex
@somuchbetter88 Potato salad is my rebuttal to that. Potato salad.


Not a good thing for me to have said. I was very riled by the "psychologist s are witch doctors" statement, you see...


somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
"Dating is demonic!" "Dating is a sword!" "Dating is sex!" Dating is a demonic sword penis!

niki_nincompoop Nikole Moon
@somuchbetter88 CORBYJANE! If I wanted to hear/read all that, id listen to it for myself! >.<



somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya

@niki_nincompoop I'm learning so much! I learned all psychologists are witch doctors! Psychology doesn't exist!

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Hitherto this century, there were no teenagers! Everyone skipped from twelve to twenty! And it was wonderful!



somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
@OhOkayAlex There are TWELVE sections of this to listen to. OMG I am not going to make it.
somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya


OhOkayAlex Alexander Grey
@somuchbetter88 It actually does sound quite awful, too!




somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Public schoolers are fools. You are forever lost to God if you go to public school. Also, your parents don't love you enough.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
But what if your parents are DUMB? What if they are not fit to teach?! Oh wait, I think we just explained half the homeschooling community.

Before you all start, I WAS HOMESCHOOLED. I am allowed to say 99% of us come out messed up. We have not enough interaction with our peers, yes, we related well to adults, but we think we ARE adults, which we will soon discover most of the world does not think we are. There is a lot of unlearning that needs to happen before we can be "normal". I am a semi-recovered homeschooler. And this is after five years of college...


somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Hobbies are evil! No, seriously. You work, you have sex with your wife, you teach your kids. That's all.


somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
"You think that's hard? That's LIFE." Uhm, maybe for YOU....

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
@OhOkayAlex I was NEVER this hardcore. I was pretty bad when I was 14, but this is RIDICULOUS.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
...Women should not go to college because they're leaving the protection of their father. What... the... hell...
I'm not even a feminist. And I do believe the husband is the head of the household. But I don't think the woman is weak and needs to be under her father till marriage. Unless she's getting married at 18! But if she goes out into the world and goes to college, she's an independent woman. When she gets married, she will continue to be independent. But with a husband leading and guiding. But it's not the "husband becomes the father" seen in this video business.
...Once again, I take that back. It does not HAVE to be the "husband becomes the father". It can be. And have fun if it is. But don't bible thump me if I don't need a daddy.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
...He seriously said NO ONE needs college. Well, I guess McDonalds is always hiring...

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Education is bad because "we already have the truth! what more do we need?" WHAT.

I'm just going to say... some people don't go to college. That's just fine! But don't know the people who do. Seriously.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
@slrvcarm just in case you're not catching all this, I am currently watching the videos. And tweeting. Copiously.
19 minutes ago

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
"Are you sure you've been converted?" Yeah, pretty darn...
18 minutes ago

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Apparently all that's needed to become a man is to have a wet dream. At 12. Yep.
18 minutes ago

heresjohnny Johnathan Mastron
@somuchbetter88 It finally dawned on me one day that Child Protective Services exists to combat the kind of people who decide to homeschool.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
@heresjohnny That's PERSECUTION! Jesus promised us this would happen! Bar the door! They're all out to get us!
17 minutes ago

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
@heresjohnny Speaking as one of the lucky, well-adjusted products of homeschooling, most of us are warped, big time.
17 minutes ago

slrvcarm Salliana Mayer
@somuchbetter88 I am following happily, and somewhat guiltily since I only finished the first two parts

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
@slrvcarm I am on #4. I'm taking this all the way, baby.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
"Spiritually lead the woman" --speaking as someone who LOVES to follow, I don't think I could accept a husband as my daddy.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
#5! Now we're talking about how daughters have parents, and then they have husbands who fill the parent roll.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Gasp! Now we are talking about evil feminists! I'm so excited...

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Feminism empowerment movement = evil. Got it.

heresjohnny Johnathan Mastron
@somuchbetter88 That's why my parents told me to stay away from windows during school hours so as not to attract outside attention.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
@heresjohnny Yep. We never went out until the afternoon. And no playing in the backyard because a) helicopters and b) tattletale neighbours.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
"You can't deny what I'm saying is true!" Me: *standing on chair, jumping up and down, waving hand*

heresjohnny Johnathan Mastron
@somuchbetter88 No wonder he's so against psychology. He prefers his women to be hysterical basket cases of victimization.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
@heresjohnny "Women need to be led. They NEED a father in their husband." >.>

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
He just called counsellors idiots AGAIN.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
My life--which ran almost identical to the path he is outlining--messed me so badly I would be dead if not for the intervention of shrinks.messed me so badly I would be dead if not for the intervention of shrinks.
I can't say this much different than how i already said it, but therapy saved my life. More than once. I have been to five different psychologists/therapists/LMFT. Four were Christians. I do recommend seeking a Christian therapist. I think especially for any soul-healing to take place, that's important. But you can't discredit the entire business.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
He just said men and women should NEVER be alone together unless they are married.
I understand this. I do. But I think that putting this on everyone and then calling it biblical is wrong. It's a precaution, but not one everyone needs to take. I'm alone with a lot of guys quite frequently. Most of them are either gay or like 16, but still. I don't feel like I'm a dirty whore because of it.
I think if you and your boyfriend struggle, by all means don't be alone together. (Not being alone will not always save you, however. Ask me sometime). But that doesn't rule out all men. (Think about it: this includes doctors, friends, co-workers, TSA agents...)

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Yeah, so, @OhOkayAlex ? We can't be alone toegther. EVER again. Sorry. =/

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
"I don't care if he is your UGLY COUSIN!" Yep. Me and mah cousin, here, gosh darn it, we just love a good roll in the hay!

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Praying against lust is bad because God doesn't want you to place yourself in that situation to begin with.
The following is some inappropriate humour. I apologise in advance. I was on a roll.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
If it wouldn't have to be NC-17, I think videos of these people's wedding nights would be HILARIOUS.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
"So.... what goes where?" "I watched dogs do this once!" "Okay, how did that work?" "HOLY CRAP WHAT IS THAT PUT IT AWAY!"

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
"Wait... you don't have one? What does yours look like?" "Uh..." "WHAT HAPPENED?! Was there a tragic pruning accident?!"

particle_person particle_person
@somuchbetter88 What are you watching?

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
@particle_person Fundie dating advice! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92YQX-4zivk&NR=1 advocated by a friend. I'm going to hell, apparently.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
ROFL @heresjohnny "@somuchbetter88 Nah, I bet a lot of them'd be PG. Someone would chicken out after they took off their shoes."

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Your wife should always come first. Even before your children. Huh.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
...He just said that the man should have never "approached" the girl before they start courting. WTF.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Pausing the video. I am copying my tweets into a blog post and will publish them, tagging the recommender of this video.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
(Expect Hilarity to Ensue)

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
RT @heresjohnny "@somuchbetter88 I think you might appreciate this: http://www.stufffundieslike.com/"

Check it. it's awesome. Below: another instance of, if it works, fine. If it doesn't, let it go.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Mkay, left off with the son asking the father for permission to date. Now the father is talking to the daughter. "Dad, no." "Pray about it."

Somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
She prays about it. "Dad, no." So dad calls the young man. "I've prayed. No."

Somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
He doesn't say "she says no." The son asks, "well, what did your daughter say?" And he says, "Well you've just proven me right."

Somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
What if she says yes? Dad calls meeting with parents and son, and they scope out "rules of engagement".

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
So they can figure out how they can get to know each other without ever being alone.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
So if you're the christian product of nonchristian home, you are SCREWED.

And I think this is part of the reason some Christian communities are almost--this isn't the right word, but--incestuous. The model doesn't allow for anyone to have grown up in a nonChristian home, doesn't allow for single-parenting or a the child of victims of a tragic baking accident. So all you have, in these ideal Christian homes, are ideal Christians with no idea of tragedy, no idea of what the world is like. Which sounds great, until you realise what happens when someone who HAS been through that walks in the door.

Frankly, I don't want my dad to choose my boyfriend for me. He's a wonderful sweet Christian man, but he's not perfect and he's not going to choose someone I can deal with. And just imagine what happens to the daughters of even more abusive fathers. It's not pretty.

I had a pastor in bible school talking about divorce. He was on the side of a mother in an abusive marriage staying married and staying with the husband. He was born to Christians and married a born to Christians woman and works at a Bible School. He has no idea what an abusive relationship is like. He could never know. This is basically the entire problem of this model. You don't have any idea what other people's lives are like and why they will never be able to conform to this.


somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
@slrvcarm didn't Nicole say they talked about nonteen dating in this? When was that?


ExcitingHolly Holly L.
@somuchbetter88 HAHAH I read that as "Stuff Undies Like". I was confused. :P



somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Oh, that's what's next. "Non-perfect sittuations." Now on vid #7. No one can deny my hardcoreness here.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
I suppose I'm not going into this with an "open heart". But he opened with, "let's talk about the demonic world of dating." How could I?

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
What if they're at college. "Well, it's a predicament. A great predicament."

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
"One can argue for and against going away to college..." I was surprised he didn't talk about why this was bad.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
So, you're away at college, you find a fellowship with elders. Oh god, I see where this is going...


niki_nincompoop Nikole Moon
@somuchbetter88 -____- I feel like im only following YOU cause your face is ALL OVER MY TWITTER WALL.


somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
@niki_nincompoop Hee! xp



somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
So... you ask your pastor to be your dad. HOW MANY DADS DOES ONE YOUNG WOMAN NEED?!!!

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
What if he goes to a different church? I mean, at AFLBS there were dozens of AFLC churches, so it's not even a denom thing...

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
It's disturbing when groups define them selves by what they DON'T do. And it never ends well.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
The #1 Rule is Don't Have Sex. So what do you DO? This goes for "we don't party, we don't drink, we don't abort babies..."

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
I don't do any of these things, but if anyone asked me to define my #1 rule it would start with DO, not DON'T.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Oh wait, I drink.... responsibly and not to get drunk. I drink because it is delicious!

The "defined by what we're not" model is another problem. Not just with this. I encountered people in the AFLC who defined themselves exclusively by "we are not ELCA". If you can't get through a morning's devotions without saying, "UNLIKE the ELCA", you need to take a better look in the mirror. When I look in the mirror, I don't see an absence of dead space--something who is not a chair, or a black man, or a flower pot--I see what I AM. That's... another problem. If you define "courtship" as "not dating", you're in trouble.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
He reviews by telling all his major jokes (which SUCK) one after the other.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
#9. There is light at the end of the tunnel, all you who are getting twitterspammed.

Like Twilight, I am hardcore in my hate.


ExcitingHolly Holly L.
@somuchbetter88 I like your last tweet. A lot.


ExcitingHolly Holly L.
@somuchbetter88 The drinking one, I mean. :)


somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
@ExcitingHolly hee! :)


somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Now talking about how Jesus doesn't heal everything. "You will always have scars."



somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Scars =/= healing. Jesus will stop the gushing, gaping bleeding. He DOES heal everything You just keep the scars.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Years later, "It is still as bitter as gall." No, you shouldn't be dwelling on it years later. I mean, I do. But you shouldn't.

You screwed up. But if you truly believe Jesus paid it all and you're forgiven, you'll let it go. Or at least so I'm told every day. By someone who loves me. :) And i have a hard time accepting that. So incredibly hard. I have "It's not true" written on my wrist in sharpie right now, because every day I have those thoughts that are lies--I'm a liar, it was my fault, I wanted it, I lied to the person I love most in my life, I screwed over a great guy, I am ruined, I am broken, I am damaged goods--"IT'S NOT TRUE". It shouldn't be bitter as gall. It should be as far as the east is from the west.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
"If I'm not supposed to approach this girl, how can I know she's the girl I should be approaching?"

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
"You don't need to know her to know she's virtuous." What, do they wear t-shirts?

I don't think all you need is to both be virtuous to make a good marriage. I'm a good woman--I don't think very many people will deny that--I try to lead a virtuous life, and I am saved--but I couldn't marry, say, Sterling Overman. Sterling Overman is a great virtuous guy, but he doesn't get my sarcasm. And I don't get his puns. We would make a HORRIBLE couple. So I think there should be more research involved than, "she's virtuous". But once again... if it works for you... go for it.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
This man has no idea what women are like. I'd say he's gay, but...

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
nvm. He;s like a straight man who's never met a woman. We'll put it that way.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
So even if you tell her you're just friends, and you're not interested ina relationship, she isn't going to listen to what you're saying...

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
...she thinks you are pursuing her. Because that's what you're doing.


somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
Yep. Once again, @OhOkayAlex? Sure. YOU think we're just friends. I'm planning the wedding.

^ the above is only true in a world where every man is your exact age and straight. I spend a LOT of my time with young people. I can assure you I harbour no romantic feelings towards, say, Ethan McDaniel. Or Alexander Grey. ;) We hang out a lot. We know we are just friends.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
"That evangelicals could be that naive tells me how few of them are really saved." Uh... what?

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
It cuts like a knife when, while disagreeing, one Christian tells the other they cannot be saved, bc they have different opinions.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
It (to the accuser) "wins" the argument, because anything the toher says is nullified by being unsaved.

Aaaaaand that's my biggest problem with this, Nicole. And quite frankly, a lot of Christians. In the midst of a disagreement, pulling out, "well, you disagree with me so you're not really a Christian!" is disgusting and underhanded. You don't know that person's heart. You don't know what they're thinking. Honestly, how DARE you make that assumption?!
There are very few guarantors that someone isn't saved. And that is if they espouse works => righteousness, or any way but Jesus to salvation. But unless they say either of those, how dare you guess their heart and tell them they aren't going to heaven? I seriously get tongetied when I talk about this, because it is so disgusting and makes me so angry. And righteously angry, I think.

If you disagree with a person on something, pray for them. Maybe they are a baby Christian and the spirit of the Lord hasn't convicted them of that sin yet. Maybe they don't even know it's wrong. What happens to people living out of wedlock who claim to be Christians? I don't know. But I do know it's not my place to scream at them. Show them it's in scripture that that kind of relationship needs to be accompanied by marriage--that's totally Biblical!

I have friends pursuing unBiblical lifestyles. They know what I believe about those lifestyles and what they're doing. We've talked about it. But I don't feel the need to tell them every time, "you sinned! You sinned!" and for this reason, I'm blessed to have the friends I do, and be able to talk with people of completely opposite views. And I hope they also enjoy the opportunity to talk to someone with my views without "you're a sinner!" needing to be said every time we meet.

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
And that was the last video! Give me 10-20 to organise and recap, and should be live in a minute.


particle_person particle_person
@somuchbetter88 I'm an agnostic ex-Jew, but I thought the point of being saved is that God does the choosing? So how would they know?

particle_person particle_person
@somuchbetter88 Shouldn't assuming you can read God's mind be a sin or a heresy or something?

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
@particle_person It SHOULD be. It SHOULD be more wrong to accuse someone of not being wholly Christian than it is for two Christians to...

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
@particle_person ...disagree! But some choose to not believe this. Me, if you say you are a Christian, and act in an unChristian way, I pray

somuchbetter88 corbyjane troya
@particle_person for you, and for your heart... but I will NEVER tell you you aren't a Christian. It is not my place.

Did you make it this far? WHY? Don't you have a life?!

Well, if you did make it this far, comment and let me know what you think. It's long, it's rambling... but hopefully some of you will have enjoyed it.